The Etiquette of Salam: 13 Essential Islamic Rulings Every Muslim Should Know
In Islam, the greeting of "As-salamu alaykum" is more than just a hello; it is a prayer for peace and safety. Greeting our Muslim brothers and sisters is a beautiful Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ), and replying to it is a command found directly in the Holy Quran.
However, many of us may not be aware of the specific Fiqh (rulings) regarding how, when, and where to use this greeting properly. For instance, is it permissible to wave? How do you reply to a Salam sent via a letter?
In this post, we explore 13 important rulings regarding Salam to help you fulfill this obligation correctly and earn the pleasure of Allah.
1. Returning the Salam of the Absent
When someone acts as a messenger and conveys another person’s Salam to you, the reply is specific. You should not just say "Wa 'alaykum as-salam." Instead, you should include the person who sent it.
The correct reply is: “علیک وعلیہ السلام” (Peace be upon you and him).
Hadith: A man once came to the Holy Prophet (صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ) and said, "My father sends his Salam to you." The Prophet replied, “علیک وعلی ابیک السلام” (Peace be upon you and your father). — (Sunan Abi Dawood)
2. How a Group Should Reply
If a group of people is sitting together and a passerby says “As-salamu alaykum,” it is considered Fard Kifayah (a collective obligation).
- If one person replies: It suffices for the whole group.
- If no one replies: The entire group is considered sinful.
- Specific Address: If the greeter specifically names one person (e.g., "Salam to you, Zaid"), then Zaid must reply personally; another person replying does not fulfill the obligation.
3. Salam to a Sleeping Person
Courtesy is a major part of the Sunnah. If you enter a room where people are sleeping, you should not shout your greeting. The Prophet (صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ) would greet in a tone that was audible to those who were awake but quiet enough not to disturb those who were sleeping.
4. Avoid Saluting with Fingers or Palms Only
Salam must be verbal. It is not permissible to greet only by waving a hand, finger, or nodding the head without moving the tongue. The Prophet (صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ) warned against resembling other nations who greeted with hand gestures alone.
Note: If you say the Salam with your tongue and also gesture with your hand (perhaps to be seen from afar), there is no issue.
5. Give Salam Loudly
When you initiate the greeting, do so with a clear, loud voice so the other person hears you distinctly. Muttering it under your breath defeats the purpose of the greeting.
6. Reply Instantly
Replying to a Salam is not something you can delay. It is compulsory (Wajib) to reply immediately. Delaying the reply without a valid reason is a sin. If one delays, simply replying later is not enough; one must also repent (make Tawbah) for the delay.
7. Reply Loudly
Just as the greeting should be audible, the reply must be loud enough for the greeter to hear. If they cannot hear your reply, the duty has not been fully discharged.
8. Greeting Non-Muslims
Muslims should not initiate the Salam to a non-Muslim. However, if a non-Muslim greets you with Salam, you should simply reply with “Wa ‘alaykum” (And upon you). You are not required to give the full reply.
9. The Ruling on Bowing
It is Haram (forbidden) to bow down to the extent of Ruku (where hands reach the knees) while giving Salam. Bowing slightly less than that is considered Makruh (disliked).
- Common Mistake: Many people habitually bow when greeting elders; this should be avoided.
- Exception: There is no harm in bending to kiss the hands of a pious person or scholar out of respect, as this is a rewardable act that naturally requires bending.
10. Returning the Salam of a Woman
- Elderly Women: It is permissible to reply to their Salam loudly.
- Young Women: If a young woman says Salam to a man, he should reply in a low voice—audible to himself but ideally not loud enough for her to hear, to maintain modesty and prevent Fitnah.
11. Replying to a Written Salam (Letters/Messages)
If you receive a letter, email, or text message containing "As-salamu alaykum," replying is compulsory.
- Verbal Reply: You should verbally say "Wa 'alaykum as-salam" immediately upon reading it (as immediate reply is Wajib).
- Written Reply: You should also write the reply back in your response.
Practice of the Pious: When A’la Hazrat (رَحْمَۃُ اللہِ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ) would read a letter with a Salam, he would first reply verbally and then continue reading.
12. Conveying Someone Else’s Salam
If someone asks you, "Please convey my Salam to Brother Ahmed," you should not reply to the requestor with "Wa 'alaykum as-salam." Your duty is simply to carry the message. You fulfill this by telling Ahmed: "So-and-so has sent his Salam to you."
13. When NOT to Give Salam
There are specific times when giving Salam is inappropriate because the other person is engaged in a specific act. Do not give Salam to someone who is:
- Reciting the Holy Quran.
- Engaged in Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) or Durood.
- Waiting for Salah in the Masjid.
- Studying or having an academic discussion.
- In the toilet/bathroom.
- Eating.
- Singing or flying pigeons (acts of amusement).
If someone gives Salam in these situations, it is not compulsory for the recipient to reply.
Conclusion
Implementing these rulings adds barakah (blessings) to our daily interactions and ensures we are following the Sunnah correctly.
May Allah enable us to remember and act upon these rulings regarding Salam and grant us the benefits of this beautiful greeting in this world and the hereafter!
